By Randy Hain.
I reflected this weekend on a late September conversation I recently had with a friend. In response to his question about how my year was going, I reflexively responded with “Busy! I can’t believe it is almost October. I blinked and missed the first nine months of the year.” This response, or variations of it, have become typical for me over the last year. The time commitments for family, my growing business, writing projects, non-profit service, etc. have steadily grown while the time for reflection, thinking, prayer and exercise that I value so highly has been in decline. Something has to change. I clearly need more margin in my life.
Margin is unscheduled time that we can use in whatever way refreshes us, inspires us or helps us get back on track with life. Margin is our breathing room and we all need it. Pursuing more margin does not mean we are lazy, directionless or lacking ambition. The pursuit of more margin is listening to our internal alarm bell that we need to course correct and take stock of our lives. Our approach to life may be out of whack. It may mean we are in danger of emptying our reserve tank or approaching burnout.
It is helpful to carefully reflect on what we need margin for…is it for our mental/physical/spiritual health? Time with family? Time to more deeply invest in relationships? A desire for more calm and peace in our lives? Or do we simply need more time to think and plan? Whatever the reason, having goals in mind as we pursue increasing margin is important.
A Practical Idea
I made a list yesterday of every current personal and professional time commitment in my life…everything. The list is long and somewhat overwhelming, but I have made a promise to myself to reduce the items on the list by roughly 20% in the coming year to create more margin in my life. I will begin with (and work to maintain) a guilt-free mindset as I reduce my commitments. Guilt can often derail our best efforts for positive change as we sometimes worry we are being selfish as we try take better care of ourselves.
To me, the obvious places to make changes are respectfully saying NO to those things which do not honor my priorities, becoming relentless about protecting my workday boundaries and driving greater efficiency with my schedule, meetings, etc. I have already been working hard at more intentionally managing my energy and health on a daily basis which will continue to make my time choices easier. Other approaches may involve getting creative in how I give time to the non-profit causes and non-work activities I care about and checking in more frequently with my wonderful wife of 31 years to solicit her objective feedback, which I highly value.
Additional Best Practices to Create Margin in Our Lives
- Leave a reasonable buffer between meetings and activities. Purposely schedule some time to allow us to catch our breath, reflect on the day and prepare for what is in front of us.
- Wake up earlier and create a healthy morning routine. While honoring our body’s need for rest, consider what we can also accomplish for ourselves with an extra 30-45 minutes each day before the workday begins. I wake up at 4:45 am each day and use the start of the day for prayer, reflection, reading and writing. I have been adding an early morning walk of late which has been a great addition. Author and Harvard professor Arthur Brooks often talks about the importance of honoring his “5-9 am routine before his 9-5 pm workday”.
- Learn how to respectfully say NO. This is key for more margin to be created. Time is a finite resource. For us to give time to someone, we likely have to say NO to something else. Coach’s Tip: Read my previous post about Thwarting Time Thieves for ideas on how to say NO here.
- Be proactive rather than reactive. For margin to thrive and grow, we have to make it a priority, be intentional and create it for ourselves. Own the calendar. Set the parameters. Pick times when we can respond to emails and texts and do not respond to every message right away, which creates unhealthy distraction. Honor boundaries (ours and theirs). Do not say yes to every request for our time.
- Limit social media. Endless scrolling on social media will quickly eat up our margin time. An hour of free time where we can do something healthy for ourselves can rapidly evaporate when we engage too often in this mind-numbing pursuit.
- Embrace simplicity and focus on honoring our priorities. A great way to help margin thrive is to schedule our day around our most important personal and professional priorities. Ask ourselves if the time commitments before us are serving what is most important. If not, it may require us to say NO or reschedule for another time. Coach’s Tip: Everyone around us will typically invite us to meetings and other time-consuming activities based on their priorities, not ours.
- Re-frame how we view self-care. Embrace the idea that you cannot share with others from an empty cup, which is a wonderful metaphor for embracing the need to take of ourselves before we can appropriately serve and care for others. Prioritizing our own well-being allows us to have greater capacity to give with joy and abundance to others.
- Learn to savor. I began this post with the wake-up call I received from realizing how often I allowed the busyness of life to take over. I am much better than I was 20 years ago, but I still have work to do at slowing down, being fully present and savoring the special moments in my life.
- Plan and take vacations/time off. This vital time away can be an afternoon off, a three-day weekend or two weeks in Europe. Whenever we can unplug from our devices, detox from the hectic schedules we keep, re-charge our batteries and be fully present for our loved ones, we are creating healthy margin in our lives.
- Find (mutual) accountability partners. Anybody we know in need of additional margin in their lives? Perhaps we can help hold each other accountable to make the necessary changes and offer encouragement when the journey is difficult.
The Fruit of Fewer Commitments and More Margin
I have had enough experience in my life and observed through others I respect that thoughtfully reducing our commitments and pursuing more margin in our lives is achievable and important. I have gotten a bit off track of late and am eager to expand my margin time and re-calibrate how I live and work. Having fewer commitments and more margin helps you feel less stressed and anxious. It helps you be better prepared and available to respond to truly special opportunities. You can reapply your energies to the activities that excite you and bring joy into your life. It helps you embrace the idea that we should work to live, not live to work. Living a life in the service of others is noble and worthwhile…no question. But better serving the needs of your mind, body and soul will enhance your service to others through the counterintuitive approach of taking care of yourself first. Having more margin will also help you have more peace and calm in your life.
I hope this post has provoked some deep thinking and forced you to evaluate how much margin you currently have in your life. Be patient with yourself as it takes time and effort…and know that sometimes we get off track as I shared through my recent experience. The effort is worth it and I wish you the best of luck as you make small steps in the coming weeks to implement these best practices and create more margin in your life.
