“Is this person a narcissist… how can I tell?” This question has been posed to co-host, Brandon Smith, several times recently in his work with leaders. Today, Brandon breaks down the five signs you’re working with a narcissist and shares survival tactics for navigating this type of office relationship.
3:00 Sign #1: Lack of Clarity. Narcissists use ambiguity to gaslight and point the finger away from them. They prefer phone calls and cannot clearly communicate their “Commander’s Intent”.
6:50 Brandon breaks down gaslighting, some examples of what this can look like and ways to avoid it.
9:45 Sign #2: Lack of Boundaries. Narcissists view themselves over you and love calling / texting on the weekend or after hours.
12:30 Where are narcissists hiding? Brandon highlights how narcissists only view the world vertically (they have no peers). They are typically good at sales, strive to be at the top and are also great self promoters, but – they shift jobs often.
16:00 Sign #3: Negative feedback is not accepted. Deep down, narcissists are insecure. Don’t expect open feedback.
18:45 Narcissism is more about manipulation and less about results.
21:00 Brandon highlights the DSM library of resources to diagnose a narcissist and reminds listeners that narcissists are highly skilled at using emotion to manipulate. There’s no real “cure.”
24:00 Sign #4: Their image is No. 1. From sugarcoating reports to avoiding critical discussions, the narcissist will do whatever it takes to ensure they look good.
26:45 “Don’t think you can change a narcissist.” Brandon offers a survival mechanism for working with a narcissist in a leadership position: always bring them good information.
28:00 Sign #5: Someone is always the “golden child” and someone is always the “bad apple.” Narcissists often view others as tools to be used.
31:15 The best way to survive this trait? Don’t be on either list! Most of a narcissist’s relationships are transactional.
35:00 Money is not the driver for narcissists; maintaining their position of power is.
36:00 How do you get a promotion if your boss is a narcissist?
42:30 What to be a great leader? Do the opposite of a narcissist.
Show Resources:
- Looking for additional guidance to drive leadership within your teams? Email: bsmith@myleadershipfoundry.com and rhain@myleadershipfoundry.com
- Never miss an episode – subscribe to The Leadership Foundry Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Google Play.