By Randy Hain. I enjoyed coffee a few weeks ago with a former executive coaching client who I worked with in 2024. This leader has done a wonderful job of continuing to grow his career while focusing on the right priorities and creating personal boundaries to protect his health and family time. We spent much of our conversation discussing the epiphany he had when we worked together that professional growth in a coaching process is more about “de-layering” or shedding old habits and mindsets than simply adding new skills and leadership tools to your toolkit. I validated his insights by reminding him of how much time we spent identifying and removing (or mitigating) obstacles in the way of his personal and professional success. Some of these obstacles were outdated assumptions about work/life balance and his former workaholic tendencies, his desire to be Superman and struggles with delegation and his lack of self-awareness regarding how his team and peers viewed him. Once we addressed these issues and helped him “de-layer”, he was prepared to move forward and add a few new helpful leadership approaches, self-care strategies and skills that have helped him thrive in his career.

I reflected on this interesting conversation for several days until I had an opportunity to share the fruit of our discussion with a new senior leader who was interested in working with me. He was very curious about the coaching process and asked me questions exclusively focused on the new concepts and skills I could help him learn rather than the old habits he needed to shed. The rest of this post is a summary of our conversation and the follow up email I sent this leader on the importance of “de-layering”. He generously and enthusiastically encouraged me to share this post with you.

Context Matters and Defining the Approach

“De-layering” can be a very effective and powerful term to use when discussing personal and professional growth, provided it is used in the right context. We often think of de-layering an organization as part of a reduction in force or re-organization process, but I find it extremely helpful to use the term in coaching for individual leaders seeking professional and personal development. It functions as a metaphor for stripping away limiting beliefs and assumptions, emotional baggage, bad habits developed over time, misplaced priorities, and the mask(s) we often accumulate over time to reveal our authentic selves.

For leaders to truly thrive and experience the growth they seek, they must often “de-layer” themselves of ego, poor assumptions, inattention to self-care, micromanagement, and technical, task-oriented habits to adapt to a more strategic, empowering, humble and inspiring approach to leadership. In my experience, one of the most common examples I encounter is helping newly promoted senior leaders shift from a “player-coach” or individual contributor mindset which is necessary for managing daily operations to a more strategic mindset and a focus on empowering others, developing their people and building a healthy team culture. This shift, which only occurs after shedding their old approach, helps them see that they are now being rated on their ability to drive results through others, not solely their individual efforts.

Helpful Best Practices for Leaders to Shed Bad Habits and “De-layer”

  1. Build Self-Awareness and Seek Feedback: Identify specific bad behaviors—such as micromanaging, losing your temper, or tardiness by asking for candid feedback from trusted colleagues, your boss or a mentor. Don’t seek validation. Pursue specific and helpful feedback to help you grow. Lack of self-awareness is akin to flying blind and we all need to be mindful of the need to grow in this area.
  2. Be Curious and Actively Listen: A healthy best practice that supports the above and is a hallmark of successful leadership is to ask great questions and really, truly listen.
  3. Create Accountability Systems: Ask someone to hold you accountable for change, such as a coach, boss, trusted peer or a loved one. Journal/keep notes on bad habits abandoned and healthier habits embraced. This is helpful both in your professional and personal life.
  4. Set Measurable Goals for Change: Break the habit-breaking process into small, actionable steps rather than trying to change everything at once. Be patient. Put these goals on your calendar as a daily or weekly reminder.
  5. Lead by Example: As you work on yourself, remember you are also the role model for the team and should use this important mandate you carry as a catalyst to help you embrace the changes and behaviors you will also likely expect from them. One way you can set a good example is to be vulnerable and tell them how you are developing yourself.
  6. Reward/Celebrate Positive Changes: Reinforce your new, positive habits by celebrating progress. Do the same when you have left behind an old limiting behavior or way of thinking. Go for small wins!
  7. Reflect on Your Impact: Consider how your specific, harmful habits affect team morale, productivity, and the company culture. Use this as a re-calibration to stay focused on de-layering and improvement.

Be mindful that “de-layering” is also similar to re-wiring your brain. You are going to be identifying habits and ways of thinking that have been part of your approach for many years, maybe even back to your childhood. Give yourself grace and be patient. Change like this is difficult and you will likely experience the occasional relapse. Stubbornness can often be an obstacle to letting go of unhealthy habits and old thinking. Just get up and try harder next time. Stick with it and do not give up.

Finally, you are not alone. Your coach, mentor, and/or trusted friends and colleagues are here to help and encourage. Be humble and vulnerable on this journey…let others know where you are trying to improve and seek their help.

De-layering the things that are holding you back will not only accelerate your own professional and personal growth, but there will be a tremendous positive ripple effect in the impact on your team and their growth. Your company will clearly profit from the better results you and your team will produce. Last, but not least, your loved ones and family will absolutely benefit from this happier and healthier version of you.

What bad habits can you begin to shed or “de-layer” from your life that no longer serve you in the weeks ahead?

Good luck.