By Randy Hain. I have been a keen observer of people and situations since I was a kid, which has always informed my coaching work and writing. I often reflect on experiences, conversations, observations and memories from all areas of my life. I have been thinking over the past several days about the choices I observe other people make and the countless ones I have made over the course of my career. These choices can, if we are not careful, lead us to frustration, increased anxiety, loneliness, groupthink, career stagnation, and all sorts of unhealthy pathways. However, our choices can also lead us to a much more positive, impactful, happy, and healthy way of living if we are thoughtful, disciplined and courageous.
This topic could easily be an entire book, but in the interest of being succinct, I want to encourage the readers of this post to focus on making 10 specific choices over the next 30 days (and beyond). Each choice will require intentional effort, but the payoff is worth it and will lead you to a better place in your professional and personal life. If you are already making some or all of these choices, congratulations! Perhaps this will serve as a reminder or encouragement to go even deeper with your laudable efforts. I know when I consistently focus on making any of the choices below, I can see an immediate and positive impact in my life and how I show up with others. For your consideration:
- Choose to think for yourself. A quick search on the benefits of A.I. will surface thousands of pages celebrating its value for humanity and business. Much of that promise is likely real, but one risk concerns me deeply: we may gradually lose the habit and discipline of thinking for ourselves. I have read about students using ChatGPT to write papers, businesses receiving finished work from consulting firms that was actually produced by A.I., and social media filling up with A.I.-generated content from writers, professionals, and influencers offering it as their own work. I may be in the minority, but I urge you to not surrender the ability to think independently. We may be a transitional generation learning how to work with artificial intelligence tools, but imagine a world 10 or 20 years from now where people rarely do any meaningful and critical thinking, imagining, or creating on their own without A.I. That is not a future I welcome, and I hope you feel the same.
- Choose gratitude. Choose gratitude over feeling envious. Choose gratitude over an entitlement mentality. Begin and end each day with gratitude for what you have, the opportunities in front of you and simply for being who you are…even be grateful for your challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Express your gratitude to others every chance you get for any kindness or service done for you. Being grateful fosters contentment and helps us be happy with less. Always be grateful.
- Choose human relationships. In a world designed to keep our eyes on screens, we must be far more intentional about turning toward one another. Too often, our devices receive our best attention while colleagues, friends, and family get what is left over. Let’s reverse that. Spend less time scrolling and more time asking thoughtful questions, listening, sharing meals, enjoying coffee together, and being fully present with the people in front of us. The time we reclaim from our devices can become an investment in the relationships that shape our character, deepen our joy, and remind us of what it means to be fully human. Helpful tip: A.I. will never replace the uniquely human capacity for trust, empathy, presence, and meaningful connection. That is one of our greatest advantages—and one of our greatest gifts. Let’s make good use of it.
- Choose simplicity. Living simply, desiring less, pursuing contentment, having clear priorities, and savoring special moments with friends and loved ones all takes an intentional and difficult choice in the modern world. The world and social media will always try to convince you that happiness only comes from having the new car, bigger house, 2nd home at the beach, changing your looks, acquiring more money and toys, etc. There is nothing wrong with living a good life, but we can’t be consumed by it. Sometimes, less is indeed more. “It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
- Choose generosity. Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” It is more blessed to give than to receive, and it is certainly far more blessed to give than to take. Let’s thoughtfully consider how the gift of our time, our willingness to listen, our patience, our mercy, our talents, our kindness, our love, and our financial resources can be applied to more intentionally living the virtue of generosity toward others…and never keep score. The mindset and daily practice of generosity changes all of us for the better.
- Choose authenticity. We must challenge the fear that somehow being real is a bad thing. It may be uncomfortable and create some opposition in the short term from individuals not used to it. However, practicing transparency, engaging in honest and open dialogue, and always placing our principles and ethics before advancing our careers will bring us greater success in every aspect of our lives. I have seen the positive fruits of this in my own life and the lives of countless other business leaders. I would also argue that the most authentic business leaders I know are also the most inspiring, happiest, and by far the most successful. Of course, using discernment in the practice of authenticity is important.
- Choose humility. Cultivating humility is a lifelong and often challenging journey that never ends. Ego and pride are the opposites of humility and will raise their ugly heads at every opportunity. I strongly believe humility is a cornerstone of authentic leadership and meaningful relationships. Too often, we confuse humility with weakness or self-doubt, but nothing could be further from the truth as illustrated by this famous quote from C.S. Lewis: “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
- Choose curiosity. I think curiosity is one of most underutilized leadership skills in business today. We just do not ask enough questions. We are not as sincerely interested as we should be in why someone thinks the way they do or where they are from, or how life is going outside of work, etc., etc. Lack of curiosity often leads to poor assumptions and triggers unhealthy bias in our thinking that can be avoided. In the days ahead, choose to get a lot more curious with the people you encounter each day and be sure to listen (really listen) to what you hear. Curiosity can and should be cultivated as a superpower…make it yours.
- Choose joy. We can fight the division and gloominess we often see in the world today by choosing to spread goodwill and the virtue of joy in our daily interactions with others. We can greet others with kindness and a smile and serve their needs as best we can. We can speak with work colleagues, friends, and family with the desire to bring joy and cheerfulness to the conversation rather than complaints or negativity. We can go out of our way to help and serve those who may be struggling in our companies, families, and communities. Wouldn’t you agree that when we offer encouragement and joy to others, we are also quietly fueling growth in these critical areas for ourselves as well? Joy comes from within. Practicing all of the other choices you have been reading accelerates the growth of joy in us.
- Choose courage. Most of the choices you have been reading about will also likely require a choice to be courageous. Why? You will stand out as different. Those comfortable with a more worldly perspective and the status quo, will not always understand your choices or support them. You may feel a little isolated or even ostracized at times. My encouragement to you is to make these choices anyway. Be willing to go it alone and stand up for your values. Follow your moral compass. Embrace all of these virtuous choices and you can sleep well knowing that you have done the right thing and have made a positive difference in a world that desperately needs to witness more of us having the courage to do what is right. Going against the current is not always easy and will feel counter-cultural. Have the courage to do it anyway. “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa).
As I often do, I am sharing this post with my network because I am working on practicing what you have just absorbed. I do not have it all figured out, but I am working hard at being more intentional in how I make all of the choices you have just read. I lean heavily on my faith and prayer life to help me as well as the support of family and candid friends. After reading this post, I encourage you to make a list of the choices you need to practice and more fully embrace. Place this list of choices on your calendar and reflect on them each morning. Look for specific ways you can integrate them into your daily routine and interactions with others. Once you have a few days of practice under your belt, take time to reflect on how you are doing and make corrections as needed. Invite someone to go on this journey with you and frequently check in with each other.
If you are looking for additional support, I have written blog posts on LinkedIn for many years that cover almost all of these topics and you can access them for free (click here to see them). Also, my last several leadership books can take you even deeper on these topics and all are available on Amazon.
I hope you will join me in making better and more intentional choices over the next month and beyond. The world (and each of us) will be made better by this effort.
Good luck!
