By Randy Hain. I often find myself talking with friends, clients, colleagues, and early career professionals about a simple but important question: how do you reach out to someone new in a way that feels genuine, respectful, and worthwhile? It is a question worth asking because professional networking has changed quite a bit. We still value handshakes, coffee meetings, referrals, and personal introductions, but many relationships now begin long before two people sit down across a table from one another. Someone may first notice your LinkedIn activity, review your profile, or hear about you from a mutual contact. Professionals today are still open to hearing from you and have likely once been in your shoes, but they are trying to keep up with work, travel, family responsibilities, deadlines, and the steady stream of digital distractions which makes their time valuable and limited.

For that reason, the basics matter more than ever. Be clear. Be kind. Be relevant. Be patient. And whenever you can, try to bring something useful to the conversation before you ask for someone’s time. The goal is not to collect names, chase status, mindlessly network for a new job, or fill your calendar with meetings that do not really go anywhere. The goal is to build real professional relationships that can grow naturally over time. With that in mind, here are some helpful best and worst practices for connecting with new professionals today.

WORST Practices for Connecting with New Professionals

  • Reach out without explaining why the connection makes sense. A vague note like “I’d love to connect” or “Let’s grab coffee sometime” may be well intended, but it makes the other person do the work of figuring out what you want and why. Helpful Tip: Do not assume your invitation will be compelling just because you sent it. Give a little context, show why the connection is relevant, and make your request easy to understand.
  • Treat networking like a numbers game. Sending a large batch of generic emails or LinkedIn requests might feel efficient, but it rarely feels personal to the person receiving it. Most people can tell when they are one name on a long list, especially when the message sounds copied, automated, rushed, or like it was written for “anyone” instead of for them.
  • Ask for too much too soon. A first message should not feel like a sales pitch, a job request, a favor request, or a demand for an hour of someone’s calendar. If you are reaching out cold, start smaller. Ask for a brief call, a quick piece of advice, or permission to send one focused question. Low-pressure outreach usually works better than trying to force a big outcome right away…and typically leads to something more meaningful in time.
  • Make scheduling harder than it needs to be. Instead of simply asking, “When are you free?” try to make things easy for the other person. Offer two or three options, suggest a short time frame, and be open to whatever format is most convenient for them, whether that is coffee, a phone call, or a short video meeting.
  • Assume an in-person meeting is always the best first step. Coffee and breakfast meetings can still be wonderful, but hybrid work has changed everyone’s routines. Some people may prefer a 15-minute video call before committing to an in-person meeting. Others may be traveling, working remotely, or protecting the few in-office hours they have. Let their convenience and preferences guide the format.
  • Act as though meeting with you should be at the top of their list. Even if your request is thoughtful, the other person may be buried in client work, deadlines, travel, family commitments, or a packed calendar. A slow response does not always mean “no.” Sometimes it simply means “not yet” or they are very busy.
  • Become impatient, irritated, or sarcastic in follow-up messages. A kind follow-up can be helpful. A guilt-driven follow-up can end the relationship before it begins. Helpful Tip: Assume good intent. They may be sick, traveling, under deadline, dealing with a work emergency, or just behind on messages like the rest of us.
  • Send a LinkedIn invitation without a personal note when context would help. If you do not know the person well, take a moment to explain the connection point. Maybe you have a mutual contact, work in the same industry, saw something they wrote, attended the same event, or admire a specific part of their work. A short personal note can make all the difference. I am like a lot of business professionals who rarely accept LinkedIn invitations without a note and context.
  • Let artificial intelligence and automation remove YOUR voice. A.I. tools can help with research, organization, reminders, and even first drafts, but they should not make your outreach sound cold or generic. If your message could have been sent to anyone, it probably will not mean much to anyone. Use tools to support your voice, not replace it.
  • Forget basic courtesy. Say thank you. Show up prepared. Be on time. Cancel thoughtfully if you must cancel. Do not turn the conversation into a one-sided pitch. These may sound like small things, but they are often the things people remember most. You have one chance to make a first impression.

BEST Practices for Connecting with New Professionals

  • Start with a warm introduction whenever you can. If someone knows both of you, ask whether they would be comfortable making an introduction. A warm introduction creates trust right away and gives the new contact a natural reason to respond. Helpful Tip: Offer to write the note of introduction OR ask if you can email the new person and copy your mutual contact, saying he/she encouraged you to reach out. Both actions make it easier for the warm introduction to happen.
  • Meeting helpful connections at events can be fantastic…but be thoughtful. It is difficult to have long meaningful conversations at professional events, but it is critical to make a good first impression and ask for a follow up conversation to further explore the seeds you hopefully planted in your quick conversation (job search, exploring internships, looking to do work with their company, etc.). Here are a few helpful tips: 1) Ask for their business card and always have your own to share (old school, but effective!), 2) If they do not have a card, ask for their work email and write it down. ALWAYS carry a pen and a small note card with you at events for this purpose. 3) Ask if you can connect with them on LinkedIn and do so within 24 hours. This forges a connection while it is fresh in their minds and gives them a chance to review your profile. 4) Do not “dump” your entire need on someone and overshare at an event. It often makes people uncomfortable. Just make a good impression and follow up to more fully explore your need…and what you can possibly do to help them.
  • Be clear about why you are reaching out. A good message does not need to be long, overly formal, or filled with corporate language, but it should answer a few simple questions: Why this person? Why now? What are you hoping for? For example: “Mike, Bill Smith suggested I connect with you because of your experience advising growing companies in the logistics space. I am working on a related project and would be grateful for 20 minutes of your perspective. I would also be glad to share what I am seeing in return if helpful.”
  • Do a little homework first. Before you reach out, take a few minutes to look at their LinkedIn profile, company bio, recent posts, articles, interviews, or presentations. You do not need to know everything about them. You simply want to understand enough to make the conversation feel thoughtful instead of random.
  • Make the first step easy. A 15- or 20-minute call may be better than asking for lunch. A short video meeting may be easier than asking someone to commute to meet you. Coffee near their office may be perfect for them. The best option is usually the one that makes it easiest for the other person to say yes.
  • Offer a few simple scheduling options. Rather than handing the calendar problem to them, give two or three choices and a flexible alternative. For example: “I am available Monday or Wednesday morning between 8:00 and 10:00, or Thursday after 3:00. If a short video call is easier, I am glad to do that as well.” Helpful Tip: Never say you are “wide open”. It makes it appear you have absolutely nothing going on and puts you in an unfavorable light.
  • Keep your digital presence professional and current. These days, your online profile is often part of your first impression, especially for people who are early in their careers and building credibility in real time. Make sure your LinkedIn headline, summary, photo, experience, and recent activity reflect who you are and what you do. It does not need to be perfect, but it should feel current, professional, and authentic. Helpful Tip: Always make sure your headshot and profile content is professional and free of errors.
  • Use LinkedIn like a relationship tool, not a megaphone. Sometimes the best first step is to follow someone, read what they share, or leave a thoughtful comment before sending a connection request. A small, genuine interaction can create helpful context before a private message ever arrives, and it usually feels more natural than popping up cold with a big ask.
  • Look for ways to be useful to the other person. Maybe you can offer an introduction, share an article, pass along a market observation, suggest a candidate, provide a customer insight, or connect them with someone in your network. A helpful mindset changes the tone of the whole interaction. Instead of only asking, “What can I get from this meeting?” ask, “How can I make this worth their time?”
  • Follow up…thoughtfully. If you are waiting for them to respond, a brief follow-up after several business days is perfectly appropriate. If needed, a final gracious follow-up later can also make sense. Keep it light and respectful. For example: “I know your calendar is full, so I wanted to gently follow up. If now is not the right time, I completely understand and would be glad to reconnect later.”
  • Come prepared, but do not over-script the conversation. Know what you hope to learn and bring two or three thoughtful questions. Then listen. Curiosity and active listening activate great conversations. You do not have to perform or sound like a perfect and polished executive. The best networking conversations feel like real exchanges between real people.
  • Honor the time you requested. If you asked for 20 minutes, be ready to wrap up at 20 minutes. If the other person wants to keep talking, wonderful. But ending on time shows respect and makes people more likely to welcome a future conversation.
  • Send a thoughtful thank-you note. A handwritten note can still be memorable and I strongly favor this approach, but a prompt and specific email is also meaningful. Mention something you appreciated or learned, and send anything you promised to share. A specific thank-you always feels warmer than a generic one.
  • Stay in touch in a natural way. The relationship does not have to end after one conversation. Check in occasionally, congratulate them on meaningful updates, share something relevant, or make an introduction when it is genuinely helpful. Relationships grow through small, consistent touches over time.
  • Be yourself. Professional polish matters, but sincerity matters more. Most people can tell when someone is only trying to get something from them or when they are trying too hard to sound like someone else. Be curious, generous, clear, and real. To quote Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

This is certainly not the definitive list, but I hope it offers a practical way to think about networking and building stronger professional relationships today, whether you are well into your career or just getting started. The tools have changed, people’s calendars are fuller, and most of us are more selective about how we spend our time. Still, the heart of good networking has not changed very much: be thoughtful, be prepared, be patient, be helpful, and always be grateful. I have been observing and practicing these tips for decades and I humbly feel I have a good handle on what works, and what does not.

One essential lesson I have learned over the years is that the people you want to meet are often not moving at the same pace you are. That does not mean they are uninterested or unkind. It usually just means they are busy, and earning their trust and eventually their assistance takes time. So, slow down a bit. Do your homework. Make the interaction easy for them. Focus on the relationship before the outcome. Whether you are building a career, changing direction, or simply trying to learn from people you respect, the best professional networks are not built through pressure; they are built through consistency, thoughtfulness, patience, gratitude, and authenticity.

One last thing…although this post is filled with advice for those who are reaching out to others, remember these professionals of any age and stage of their career are seeking help of some kind. If it is in our power to help them, let’s show grace, responsiveness, patience and a generous heart whenever we can. As I shared in the opening paragraph, we have all likely been in need of help at some point in our careers…and may be in that situation again.

Good luck!